Loba Blogs

I had always made a point to help a friend in need. Although I should have learned long ago, that some friends were only available when convenient, I still thought there was more to them. I would tell myself that they probably had personal reasons for their inconsistencies. Now I wonder. Were they bad friends or did they really think that was how to treat a friend.

Most of us may consider friends to be people who are there for us when we need them, or whose company we enjoy and share the same interests with. Is that really the case? Are we always friends with people who listen to us when we’re down or are actually there for us? Do they have to share all or just some of our interests? How many interests do they really have to share for us to consider them friends?

There are many variations on how people treat their friends. Some will think of them as rare and irreplaceable; while others will regard them as socks. Overall, most of us are quite self-centered and expect friends to be there for us rain or shine. We consider them as people we can lean on, who make us feel secure and give us a sense of control over at least one aspect of our lives.

Unlike romantic relationships which are based on clearer boundaries, expectations, and guidelines; friendships are built on more grey grounds. We enter these realms loosely, not realizing that this mentality can shatter us as much as a romantic breakup in the future. So where’s the control we think we have by keeping friendships or choosing our friends?

I have come to realize the cause of my frustration. Just as singles have a checklist for what they look for in a partner, I now believe we should do the same for friendships. Maybe then they would be better defined and start on a healthier note; with less possible tension in the future. True friendships, whether they exist in life or are just a myth, must be wonderful and rare.

Can I honestly say that I have such true friends in my life? Yes, I am very grateful to God, that I have a very few true friends.

Loba